Gender Bias

Since we are on the subject of genetics and how Ryan's genes are clearly Darwin's favorites…

I thought I would share a little fact about boys and dolls. Some parents seem uncomfortable with their little boys playing with dolls and some parents try and "force" playing with dolls on their boys.  Everyone has their theories on whether it's good or not good for boys to play with "girl toys" 

I read an article about some parents who got their 2 year old boy a baby doll, as they did not want to not be sexist.  However, they were concerned that all the boy did with the doll was smash it against the wall and throw it around like a ball.  "was our son going to be physically violent and uncompassionate when he grows up?  Is this how he is going to treat a real baby?" 

As we all know…gender roles are predetermined in the womb, based on how our hormones and how our brains are made up.  

For example, right from birth, girls show more interest in people and faces than boys do, which may explain why little girls are more likely to play with dolls while boys gravitate toward trains and trucks. Girls also tend to talk earlier and be more verbal than boys, which is why they may prefer pretend play and make-believe games. Another difference: Girls typically enjoy spending one-on-one time with other kids, while boys like to be part of a bigger group.

Boys, on the other hand, are born with more muscle mass, which might be why they're typically more physically active than girls. They are also better at — and so tend to enjoy — tasks that take advantage of their mechanical and spatial skills, such as playing with blocks or operating the switches on an activity board.

But I would have to say that none of this is carved in stone…Riley was not interested in dolls and still isn't.  He always liked cars, lining them up, stacking them or connecting them to trailers.  He enjoyed puzzles and look and find books.  Tate, on the other hand…IS interested in dolls.  And he doesn't bang them against the wall, he likes to give them bottles and put them to bed and take their temperature.   He doesn't spend a whole lot of time fixating on the doll, he just randomly checks on it.  Also, unlike Riley, Tate doesn't like puzzles (he likes messing them up) he doesn't play with trailers and he doesn't obsessively line things up in the order of their color shape and size like our other special son :)  He does however, like to wrestle and play sports and is MUCH more adventurous and fearless than Riley.

I have had some time to think about Tate and his doll and why he likes the doll and Riley doesn't.

When Tate was born, Riley was HORRIBLE to him…hitting and pushing…total jealousy.  It's just been in the last year that Riley has stopped physically hurting Tate when I leave the room.  

When Blakely was born, I was concerned Tate would be the same way to her.  But he wasn't.  I've noticed that Tate goes to get his doll whenever I am holding Blakely or when I say "No Tate…mama can't pick you up right now…I am feeding Blakely"  I think that doll is Tate's coping mechanism to the struggle for mom's attention.  Where Riley hit and pushed…Tate says "fine! I'll get my own baby!"  

This whole "doll thing" started when grandpa Nile got Blakely a cabbage patch doll.  The boys were oooo-ing and ahhh-ing over this present that was still in it's box.  So one day I got it out and Riley said disgustedly  "she doesn't have blue eyes like Blakely?!" 

-typical!-

But Tater said "MY BABY!"

So to protect this cabbage patch doll from being destroyed before Blakely even gets a chance to play with it…I found an old doll of mine, that just happens to be a boy doll.