"I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands And Kids And I’m Not Sorry" -HA!

Thanks to my husband, I read a very interesting and uninformed article today...A Blogger named Amy Glass has had some recent blog posts downing the american woman who decides to marry and have kids.

Here is the link to her blog post that has gone viral...

http://thoughtcatalog.com/amy-glass/2014/01/i-look-down-on-young-women-with-husbands-and-kids-and-im-not-sorry/

My husband and I are pretty opinionated when it comes to morals and politics (him more on the politics)  We are both people who know what we believe and know what want out of life.  I knew from a very young age…maybe 16/17 years old…I wanted to be a wife and a mom and stay home with my kids.  I wanted this, because my mom stayed with us until I was old enough for school and that choice stayed with my siblings and me.  My sister is also a stay at home mom.  My husband and I have 3 kids…very close in age…I had our first 6 days after I turned 24 and our last a month before I turned 28.  In our almost 7 year marriage I have never known anything outside being a wife and a mom.  But I truly feel like it is the most rewarding and selfless job I could ever do and I wouldn't trade it for the world…

Really…I wouldn't

Not even for a million dollars…

and a massage…

or a chance to poop without someone asking what I am doing or trying to pick the lock…

nope…not even for that!

Ok…you got me, I hate my life some days

Every night I am awakened up by someone or something…the toddler teething, the 5 year old sleep-peeing, my husband snoring or our puppy with rancid flatulence that could gag a maggot or literally wake the dead!  Every micro second of my day is filled with something that NEEDS to be done…

I start my day by being poked in the head…"mommy, blitz peed on the floor!" or "mommy, tate peed on the floor" or my favorite "mommy, I peed on the floor!"  As I crawl out of bed, I wash my face as the toddler cries over the monitor, the 3 year old poops on the toilet 2 feet from me and the 5 year old asks a list of questions, including "if girls don't have weiners…where do they pee from???"  my response…"GET OUT!"

On to downstairs, where I am praying the coffee magically is made for me…nope.  Instead a pile of dishes from last nights dinner that I didn't have time {don't mistake that for didn't want to or was too lazy to wash} I literally ran out of time and sorry dishes, you are at the bottom of my priority list.

As I make my coffee and unload and load the dishwasher I am soothed by the sounds of rude and demanding children
"I WANT EGGS!"
"I WANT OATMEAL!"
"YOU'LL GET NOTHING UNTIL YOU ASK NICELY!"
...so they got toast
And of coarse I forgot about the toddler in her crib, who has now pooped in her already heepingly full diaper of pee…I guess you get a bath!
{my hot coffee is now warm and untouched}

before I know it, it's 9:30 and I still haven't had my goddamn coffee and it's not because I didn't want to have it, or that my kids are more important…I just simply forgot amongst the chaos.

You have heard all of this before…this sob story from all moms and on tv and from comedians…"it's the hardest job ever!"  "I never have any time to myself!" and even husbands are coming out and saying "I don't know how my wife does it…she is just amazing!" -  Double BARF!

Let me clarify, for those of who aren't stay at home moms or moms and for those of you are buying into this
#feelsorryforthatpoormomwith3kidsshehasnolife
#beingamommyissohard


Being a stay at home mom IS NOT HARD!

It's NOT...

Like anything in life, the tasks, the choices, the roles we do are only as hard as you make them.  I don't like, what my husband would call "EURO-TRASH"  or "YUPPIES"  or "MODERN FEMINISTS" putting a spot light on women who choose to live the "Joan Cleaver Dream" and saying we settled and aren't as driven as career women or women who choose not to get married and have kids.  I mean, when did it become unacceptable to be a MOM!  And When did being a feminist or an activist for women's rights mean you throw away everything that a makes a woman unique and special…like child birth and a companion in marriage!?

I did not get married to avoid being alone nor did I get married to be a parasite to my husband…I got married because he has a fine ass and I fell in love with him.  I also didn't have kids to fill a void…although after you have kids you realize they were the one thing missing in your life.  And then choosing to be a stay at home mom wasn't because I was lazy or unambitious…it was a conscious decision and a way of life that we {my husband and I} both wanted.  (it was either me or daycare…somebody has got to watch them!) I have a life outside my kids and one day…I will have all the time in the world and be bored to death!  I like being "Joan Cleaver" it's not a role for everyone…but it's the one for me.

In the opposite side, people are saying that a stay at home mom  is a saint and has the hardest and most rewarding job in the world.  Why would one say a stay at home mom is a saint or has the hardest job…?
is it because she managed to keep the kids alive during the day…?
or because she managed to find clean yoga pants…?
or the fact that she hasn't showered in two days and still looks pretty good…?

There are a lot of people making moms out to be lonely and sad…yes we have bad days... but I'm sure mom's with jobs feel this same way.  Us stay at home mom's don't think our job is hard…so you shouldn't either.  Like a really good accountant…we know all the tricks to shut our kids up and keep them happy….and you don't, that's why it seems hard to you.

And being a stay at home mom is rewarding?

Rewarding???
Like, is it a cash reward???  Cuz I haven't seem one cent of that pot!
I guess we do get a pretty good tax return!
I don't know about rewarding…I guess like anything in life, teaching and seeing progress is rewarding. Leading and being a role model, providing and keeping safe…maybe the rewarding part is the payback when our kids have kids….{ooooo thats a good one!}

I think, if I could tell this Amy Glass anything, its this:

You have it all wrong.  You and many other woman are over compensating by trying your hardest to avoid marriage and motherhood.  God gave us this gift to share love with another and to give life…LIFE PEOPLE!  YOU LITERALLY GROW A PERSON…I can get a babysitter and climb a friggin' mountain tomorrow, but to grow a person…thats pretty damn cool.

And whether you stay with that little person during their growing years or help your pocket book by working…
it doesn't matter…
it all sucks.
and that is rewarding... that we all do it... do our best... don't bitch and whine…and don't ask for a hand out…
Unlike you, Amy, we aren't self-serving and narcissistic, we are parents who constantly get told " DO THIS!"  "DONT DO THAT!" " OH WAIT DO THIS NOW!"  "YOU NEED THIS"  "NO YOU DON'T!"  "THAT'S ABUSIVE!" "THATS NOT HARSH ENOUGH!"

We don't have a hard life…and We aren't conformists…And we certainly aren't unambitious…
-I had 3 friggin' kids, thats pretty ambitious! and I know people who have had more than that…GASP!

And We DEFINITELY don't want your sympathy or your criticism.

BUT!

The ONE thing I do want from you…is your phone number.

So you can babysit Saturday night.

Kitchen Remodel

Who doesn't like trying new things????  {ryan}  Not because he fears the change…well ok he does fear the amount of change, as in coin…or MONEY, it will cost him.  And even when we find a cost effective solution, he still is a cotton headed ninny muggins throughout the whole process, anticipating it all to fail and we will spend our life savings to fix it!  You could say, in simpler terms, Ryan suffers from horrible buyers remorse.

So needless to say, when I brought up the idea of refinishing our cabinets, I assumed ryan would be against the idea…but to my surprise, he wasn't.

My sister had refinished her cabinets with the rustoleum kit and they looked great, so I decided to do some research.  Jamie {my sister}  posted her results on facebook, saying how easy and quick the process was…so I was on board.

We picked the kit that we thought would match our oak trim and white appliances the best.  The kit cost $70 and said it would take about 2 days, with drying in between coats.  EASY PEASY!  right…

Wrong!


5 days later, I was ready to burn every last cabinet door.  Ryan always says I get myself into situations that make my life harder than it should be and I normally disagree with him.  Like when I re-paint a room at 11 o'clock at night…or when I decide to start a second busiess…or when I decide to homeschool…but this time he was right.

The process of refinishing these cabinets was way harder than they made it look in the instructional video {or what jamie said!!!}…I suppose the people in the video didn't have 2 dogs and 3 kids and jamie must have had we wine tapped throughout the process and forgot how hard it was!

1. We had to remove all the doors and hinges.
2. scrub and clean all the doors and cabinets, then let them dry over night
3. next was applying the base color coat to everything, working with the grain
4. after the first coat dried for 4 hours, paint a second coat
(steps 3 and 4 are deceiving, you can't paint the backs of the doors until the fronts are dry, so the door painting took twice as long, 2 days to be exact)
5. After everything had 2 coats of the base coat I applied the glaze, which basically brought out the wood grain, again after this we had to let dry for 4 hours (double the time for the backs)
6. After the glaze was dry, I applied the protective top coat…which was the hardest part.  It dried really fast and was glue-like, so I had to be quick and precise working with the grain again.

The hard part was working with the grain and around the intricate details on the molding and door fronts.  I seriously regretted starting this project half-way through…

Even after the dogs ran through the kitchen with their wet paws and left prints on the freshly painted doors...

 I stayed positive, I refused to be a cotton-headed ninny muggins…like somebody else I know….

Before

After

We (yes Ryan too) are thrilled with the results…the before picture was taken almost 4 years ago, the kitchen walls were actually a dark red, so its a really dramatic difference.  Plus I just really don't like orange oak.  We have future plans to get new floors and a back splash.  We got hardware…which I LOVE, and the kids act like handles on a cabinet door is the way of the future…since we have never had hardware before.  

by the time this house looks the way we want…it will be time to move.  

Riley

As many of you know, we decided to try homeschooling Riley this year.

It had it's ups and downs, but mostly i'm glad I did it.  I really had no idea how SMART Riley REALLY was until I actually started teaching him.  And I realized the possibilities with Riley are endless.  I just assumed that all children were like him, that is until Tate and Blakely came.  Blakely is 18 months…Riley could count and say his alphabet…Blakley doesn't say ONE WORD!  Tate is almost 3…Riley new 6 shapes, alphabet, numbers…Tate, not so much.  In fact, when I try to work with Tate, he LITERALLY pretends to be asleep. hmmmmm.

As annoying as Riley's "Sheldon-ness" -as we like to call it-  or OCD is…we are learning to embrace his strong personality and use it in a positive way.

Like preschool-he did not do well in organized preschool, he got honorably discharged his first year and his second year he made it the whole year, but was the kid with the least amount of stickers and we all know what that means!

I was convinced he was BORED…When a kid knows how to say the alphabet backwards, with all sounds and a word to go with…he is not going to sit for circle time singing the alphabet.  Plus when you mix super smart with super immature…not a good combo.  He is flat out impulsive and obsessive about his impulses.  I knew he needed a year at home with me to teach him how to listen, even when he doesn't want to, even when it's boring, even with distractions.

And I can confidently say…he is STRIDES from where he was a year ago…even from 6 months ago.

We started the year off with review…I needed to know what he knew.

And he knew how to:
-count to 25
-9 shapes
-alphabet uppercase and some lowercase (write say sounds)
-spell his first name
-use scissors
-held a pencil ok

He needed to work on (according to the preschool)
-listening to the teacher
-had trouble with lowercase -pdbq-
-telling teacher when there was a problem

Our first semester goals were:
-Write first and last name
-Write Say Sounds lowercase letters (still wrote his name in all uppercase)
-tie shoes
-read a clock
-basic math
-recognize simple words
-Calendar (seasons, months, days of the week)
-dealing with frustration and not giving up
-count to and write to 50
-count by 5s and 10s to 50

We started in August and tried to do school everyday…somedays were harder than others…but whatever I taught him…he KNEW that day.  I couldn't believe it.  He could tie his shoes after a couple tries…he could read a clock and not only a clock…a roman numeral clock.  I found myself looking at him like he was a freak of nature and he would just smile and shrug like "what!?"  I found out…Riley is his own worst enemy…he fails, because of his impatience with himself and his fear of failing.  But we worked on getting past that fear. 

So by the end of September we had met most of our semester goals and I found myself trying to find new ways to challenge him.  I thought I would just teach him greater than and less than or ordinal numbers…but we found ourselves doing addition and subtraction.  He started off using visuals and now he can do simple equations in his head…like at snack I will say "Riley I am giving you 2 cookies…how many more do you need to make 5." and he will look up at the ceiling as if the answer is on top of his head, and say "5!!!!?  I get 5 cookies!!!!"

He has exceded my expectations and today we took review tests, since we took a long break from school over the holidays.  He didn't skip a beat…I thought we would just do 1 test a day, but he breezed right through them and got 3, he was swelling with pride!  And to honest I almost cired…almost.

Now we start this second semester with a new foundation of knowledge:

Riley knows:

-counts and write to 100+ we have gotten up to 115 and it's really only common sense after that (remember our goal was only 50)

-ties his shoes

-recognizes a slew of words like: down, the, my, his, up, at, it , is and so on and so on

-can write his first and last name

-knows his address (and willingly gives it out to strangers at wal mart), city, state, country and planet

-knows the days of the week and months of the year

-rhyming words and word families (hit, hut, hat)

-basic math (<, >, =)

-math equations

-complex problem solving for example, connect the dots and solve each equation…then color in all the answers with 4 red, 5 blue, 3 green

-counts by 5 and 10 to 100

-ordinal counting and order of a story

-read a clock, analog and digital

-his penmanship is much better and his pencil grip is much better.

-his pictures are much more complex and he draws story pictures

An army man from Dec. 2013

A T-Rex from Sept. 2012 and a Red Dragon from Dec. 2013

Ordinal Numbers

Greater than and Less Than

Math equations

Word Recognition

Drawing Faces and Feelings

8/13 and 1/14

Can you tell he didn't want to do it the first time…he couldn't even bring himself to finish the last face or right his name.  But now he does a much better job of doing something he is told to do.  

Cutting a circle with scissors

Obsessed with Lincoln logs, helps him learn patience with himself.  The Riley 6 months ago would have freaked out if tate came and knocked over his cabin…not any more (or not as bad)  He takes a breath and says "that's ok Tate…I will just build it again!"  as Tate runs away laughing

He always insists on a practice try before he writes a word…very particular and very precise.   

At first I followed recommended pre-K lesson plans, but soon found out we were way beyond that.  So I scratched the lesson plans and decided to just get work books to see what he knew.  I wanted it to come naturally to see what he was capable of and I found out it was MUCH more than I thought.  The books were a nice foundation to branch off of and they had the review tests in them, which was nice.  

This second semester our new goals will be:

-50 states

-continue word recognition

-estimating and rulers

-more work on subtraction

-count to 200+

-read a simple book

-write a story

Now, I know everyone thinks their kids are smart…I am not so much thrilled by Riley's intelligence…what I am thrilled about is we are starting to figure him out ( I know... 5 1/2 years into his life)  His first preschool teacher thought we had autism…that is how "special" Riley is.  But from this experience we have learned he's not neurological impaired but rather too smart for his own good,  and before he was too immature to communicate with us, now we know he is just FILLED to the brim with ideas and thoughts and has to write them down or draw them.  And because we are embracing it, instead of fighting it…my house now looks like this:

Pictures EVERYWHERE

This week it is super bowl pictures

I will come down and there will be paper everywhere…sigh.  

oh and if you're wondering…this is a sign for the dogs…no eating dog poop.