To Put To Rest...

I got a call yesterday morning from my mom, she called to tell me she was going to bury my dad that afternoon.  She said she would have called me sooner, but since I had made perfectly clear in the past that I didn't want to participate in the spreading/burial of the ashes, she wasn't going to call at all, but felt the need to.  She was right, I normally would have said, "okay? I don't care..." But today I cared and I felt like I needed to be there.  My first thought was, "if I was going to bury Ryan, I would want Riley by my side"   my second thought was, "am I going to regret this later in life, if I don't go"

So Riley and I saddled up and made the quick trip to Eldora, where we visited with Grandpa and Grandma Collins, had lunch at the nursing home and finally Put To Rest dad's ashes.

It was certainly a bitter sweet day.
To see Grandpa Collins in such good health and spirits, is truly a miracle.  This man was practically dead-a goner-in the can....his bowels were considered dead, unusable: he couldn't sit up on his own: he needed constant care, everyday felt like his last.  NOW he can get up and out of his chair, walks up and down stairs, drives, cooks and his ultimate goal is to golf again, this man has more life to live and he is determined to live it!
Then to the graveyard to bury the ashes; for 10 years the box that houses dad's ashes sat at Grandpa and Grandma Collins's house and now they rest in the ground.  Grandpa, Grandma, Mom and I just stood around the box, no one said anything, after 10 years there is not much to say.  I held it together until Riley (out of no where and without coaxing) hugged the box and rested his head on it.  I don't like to read into things, but it was like he knew something important was in the "mysterious box" Of coarse once he heard me call a box, he tried his hardest to open it (it was sealed shut and made of solid wood)

It was an emotional day and brought back those feelings of emptiness and anguish.  But we all have to focus on the family we have and be thankful (I'm really trying to stay positive) I think the only thing that will ease my pain is to spend as much time with my family and know that I am passing the lessons my dad taught me on to my children, like:  pick your shoes up, children should be quite, peanut butter is a staple in any proper diet, and obsessive hard work and experimental exercises will make you the best (but you could always be better)