B is for Bump

Wanted: A Full Time Mom.

When Ryan and I were engaged, we talked about what we wanted out of our marriage; how to organize our money, what our roles in the marriage would be and how to raise our kids.  We BOTH wanted me to be a STAY AT HOME MOM.

What did I think consisted of being a STAY AT HOME MOM?

Honestly at the time I thought the job description for a STAY AT HOME MOM consisted of this:
ZERO hours of work
DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, WHENEVER YOU WANT
wear yoga pants

After we had Riley (about 1 year after we got married), my sweet deal DID pan out.  ONE baby allows a STAY AT HOME MOM to nap, watch tv, go shopping, have hours of the day to NOT do the laundry (cuz lets face it…I didn't do ANY housework when Ryan and I were first married)


NOW I have 3 children…and I no longer have the fabulous sweet deal of a STAY AT HOME MOM


I am a FULL TIME MOM

The fantasy of a STAY AT HOME MOM is just that…a fantasy.   

Today at 28, 3 kids, married…The stay at home mom job I thought I wanted, ended up being a FULL TIME MOM position that consisted of this job description:

168 hours per week

no sick days

no days off

must have a strong stomach for cleaning up vomit and poop

must have the patience of a saint

must have a nose of a blood hound to seek out lost sippy cups of milk, abandoned dirty diapers and pee spots

must be funny and clever but at the same time strict and mature

daily responsibilities will include: laundry, sweeping, vacuuming, dishes, diapering, baths, reading, scrubbing, yelling, singing, cooking and preparing up to 6 meals a day, buying household items and grocery while staying within family budget 

wear yoga pants

the list goes on…but why bore you with it 

 

So, as I was folding laundry last week, I started to crinkle my nose and rage started to build up in me.  I was thinking about the Mt. Killimanlaundry of clean clothes that was standing before me and the small landfill of dirty laundry behind me.  I asked myself…how does this laundry never get done?  Oh, yea thats right…I have a washing machine made for a hobbit and a husband the size of an Orc.  I again said to myself…there has to be a more efficient way.

Riley walked in the room right at the moment {baaaad timing on his part}  "mom, how about you make me a quesadilla?"

Talk about pulling the pin from the grenade.  My response…"How about you get your little rear-end over here and fold this laundry?"

"OK!" he said skip hopping over to the laundry

Not the response I was expecting…but I went with it.

Now you should know that for christmas, my husband got me the flip and fold.  Yes, we have that much laundry that I need an apparatus to assist in my folding.  Plus I had a Nazi dad who demanded things be folded properly and therefore I am now that Nazi. So I insist laundry (particularly t-shirts and towels) look perfect or I refold it.

So I piled up all the laundry that could be folded on the flip and fold and put it in front of Riley and said "get it done son."


well…he loved it

here is the video of his first time using the flip and fold and him being just a little cocky about his folding job :)

 

For a moment, as I watched Riley making piles of neatly folded clothes…I blacked out and got taken to a world where the children did all the house work and moms sat on their butts and drank margaritas all day long….but then I came to and realized I still had laundry to WASH.

Do I wish I could pass SOME days off to a nanny…?  YES
Do I wish I was a working mom...? NO


I wouldn't give this gig up for anything…I love being with my babes, I love wearing yoga pants…plus after 4 years, I am way to good at being a FULL TIME MOM




or MAID…whatever, it's the same thing.

growing

Click to enlarge

What are little boys made of again???

WE (and by we I mean Ryan) bought Riley a play shot gun for Christmas.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not against little boys having play guns…I just have "mommy clairvoyance-y" and I foresaw many…many…many ways this gift could go wrong.  But the gun came in a hunters kit, along with a bow, binoculars and other hunting supplies, it really is cute and we (again Ryan) thought Riley would enjoy "pretending" to hunt for "deer" (key words there people)

We explained to Riley that this gun was for shooting "pretend deer" and told him the objects he COULD shoot at.
1. stuffed animals
2. targets
3. "pretend things"


Then of coarse we told him the objects he COULDN'T shoot at
1. bear
2. TATE!
3. MOMMY!!!!!

Okay, so we (ryan) were feeling pretty good about this whole gun thing.  He seemed to get the grasp.  Seemed….

That gun has spent more days on the top shelf then days played with…why you ask…because of this…

Remember how I mentioned no one in our neighborhood gives us eye contact because our children are always naked and the dog acts like a rabid bear….Well this is just the icing on the cake.  Now they will think our house is guarded by an armed preschooler.
This particular day I walked into the room and said "what are you doing!?" Riley responded "shooting cats!"  I clarified "bobcats?"  Riley said quietly "no…kitty cats."  I again clarified "you aren't supposed to shoot kitty cats….Remember you only shoot things you eat and you can't eat a kitty cat."  Riley again responded "sure I can mom, I'll just shave it's fur."

After Obama passed his new gun law, Ryan jokingly said to Riley "you better hold on to that gun, son…or Obama's gunna take it away from you!"  Riley jerked his head towards Ryan and said "OMAMA IS NOT TAKING MY GUN!  THAT IS NAUGHTY!"

As of late, we haven't had any problems with the gun.  Riley and Tate play army, laying on their bellies under the kitchen table (in the trenches) pretending Bear is the bad guy (bear is sleeping while all this happens) then Riley will say "HURRY!" and bear jumps up barking and both boys jump up screaming "RUN! RUN!  She's Gunna Get US!"  OR  Riley will walk around with a full backpack, hawkeye hat, lightning mcqueen boots and ryan's hunting pack around his waist, saying he is hunting for very scary monster.

So what are little boys made of…I'm not sure what "normal" little boys are made of but my little boys are made of shot guns shells and big white tails…and maybe a little bit of redneck.

Blakely Six Month Doctor

Blakely had her 6 month check up today…

She tore up the paper on the patient bed like a cat…by the time the doctor came in, there were shreds of paper all over the floor.  She squealed and drooled…but she didn't cry.  She is 18 pounds and 27 inches long.  She passed the requirements of being a 6 month old…sitting up, rolling over, eating solids, stand with support.

Tate at six months was 19.5 pounds and 27inches long

Riley at six month was 20.5 pounds and 29 inches long

Blakely 6 Months

SO MUCH HAS CHANGED!

Mobility is a blessing to a baby {and parents}  ever since we found the right foods (no bananas) and Blakely has been able to sit up, she has been so much better.  She poops on her own (I was having to use a Q-Tip) and burps on her own.  Ryan and I both get lost when holding blakely…we could just hold, play and snuggle her for hours.  We normally get about an hour with her after the boys go to bed. Her personality has been blossoming since she has been less fussy, she is very playful, likes to be tossed and tickled.  She likes silly noises and look at whoever is holding her and grab their face {and rip into their flesh with her razor talons}  The boys just LOVE her…I don't understand it…Riley hated Tate…but Her loves Blakely and Tate loves her too.  Occasionally Tate gets a jealous bone when I hold Blakely.  She is a good eater…good sleeper and really tolerates all the chaos and loud noises of the house.  She just got her 2 bottom teeth this week, which she handled quite well, just a couple fussy moments.  Here are some more B facts:

Sitting up without support (unless you count her belly as support)
grabs toes
supports all her weight on legs
rolls from back to tummy and tummy to back
drinks (4) 5-8 oz bottles a day and maybe a snack bottle of 4oz
eats a solid at lunch and supper
wears 9-12 month clothes (9 month is tight)
sleeps 8pm-8am, 2 hour nap in am and 2 hour nap in pm
has 2 bottom teeth
she has no intent on crawling…when she tries to flings her legs and arms straight out…she more likely to fly before she crawls.
Shakes her arms and legs when she sees food or bottle
Likes to pat and hit toys
Still takes a pacifier (not religiously)
sucks her thumb when tired or hungry

Pick up the toys...

When Tate is up…Riley and him play…and when I say play, I mean they get every single last toy out in every single room.  I don't understand the purpose, but it drives me nuts.  So I make them pick up toys before lunch (even though they will get them back out after lunch) and pick toys up before nap and at bedtime.  So today, while I was making lunch, I told the boys to pick up " EVERY LAST TOY IN THIS HOUSE OR SO HELP ME!"  they giggled at me and complied.  They started downstairs and then I heard then tromped upstairs to pick up toys in their bedroom...and then I heard their bedroom door close.  I yelled as loud as I could "RILEY…OPEN THAT DOOR!!!!!"  Now, normally if they are doing something naughty, it's climbing into Tate's crib and acting like rabid chimpanzees at the zoo…but it was quiet…too quiet.  So I tip toed up the stairs, hoping to catch them in the act…I opened their door to find this:

Riley said, "Hi mom, were having a camp fire!"

I turned on the light and saw this:

They had fashioned a "camp fire" out of their train tracks and night light monitor.  My first instinct was to say "I thought I told you to pick up your toys…"  but how could I after seeing this:  both boys laying on the bed "looking at the stars" and staying warming by the "campfire"  These are rare moments…and I suppose it makes up for Tate pumping the soap into the toilet earlier this morning.